We're so close to the end, and like us many of you have started a countdown, but we are definitely not there yet. Last night was rough. Very rough. Picture a crying, screaming, tired Amaya with tears and boogers running down her face. It was sad and frustrating. It took over an hour to lock her bar in. Her muscles were so tight and stiff. Josh and Amaya tried slow stretches then she got frustrated and asked me to do it quick and get it over with. So I did big stretches. She screamed in pain with each one. Do you know how hard it is to have to hurt your own child? Knowing that I have to, that this is helping her. Ugh! Josh and I wondered if maybe we should skip it since it was so close to the fixator removal. Would it actually make a difference? We decided to lock it in because we know that when its this tight it means it needs to be stretched. Today at therapy we're going to ask Melissa if its okay to skip the last few nights.
When I finally locked the bar in Amaya screamed out and said, "I hate you guys." Ouch. I'm not sure if she's ever said that before. But a tired, painful child says crazy things. We knew better than to take it personally, but its never fun to hear. It took a long time for her to calm down. She had to go potty, get two hot pads, many massages, drink water, but nothing seemed to help. An hour later she was still in pain. Her knee hurt so did the sides of her foot. She complained of a new pain in her shin. I tried to massage her foot, sides of her knee, kneecap, and shin, but when I massaged one the others hurt. I'll ask Melissa about the new shin pain today as well. An hour later Amaya was still awake (it was after nine p.m. by this point). Josh came down and helped hold her, and calm her down. I was getting very tired, worn out and losing my patience (I had been up since five a.m). At about ten she calmed down and I sang her to sleep. But that only lasted a few minutes. Her pain woke her up (almost like spams) every few minutes. This went on until Josh came in and removed the bar some time after midnight. He couldn't take hearing her in pain anymore. Neither could I. After that she slept peacefully the rest of the night.
Right now its seven thirty and I should be helping her get ready for school. But instead I'm blogging and letting her get some sleep. She's exhausted and worn out. We all are. It makes no sense to me to wake her up and send her to school when she's this tired. She was only going to go for a few hours anyway (she has therapy in the middle of the day today), so she might as well stay and get the sleep that she didn't get last night.
Ugh, so close, yet so far. Keep us in your thoughts these last few days. It doesn't seem like we'll be getting a break just yet.
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