amaya at lake

amaya at lake

Friday, December 30, 2011

I'm scared...

     Yesterday Amaya and I went to visit one of my aunts. While we where there my aunt asked Amaya if she was ready for her surgery. "No." she replied. My aunt tried to be optimistic and asked Amaya why, and reminded her that she loved her and that the surgery was going to help her leg. She also told Amaya that she's already been thru one surgery so she kind of knows what to expect, and that she'll do great just like she did the last time. Amaya softly replied "I'm scared of my fixator." My aunt continued trying to encourage Amaya.
     Tonight when I was rubbing Amaya's leg before bed I reminded her that its okay to be afraid. When I asked her about her fear of the fixator. She said "it's like I have two voices in my head, one says I'm afraid, but I'll be okay. And the other voice says its gonna hurt, but I'll be okay. But sometimes I just want the voices to stop." I reminded her that it's okay to be afraid, it's important to share her fears and feelings with us, or draw or write what she's feeling. I told her that she really will be okay. And that we will help her get thru everything that happens. She seemed reassured then asked "something else I worry about is, Lidie. Will she be in the hospital too?" I told her that no, Lidie would be home then later be able to visit her. How sweet is that?! Worrying about her little sister. That's my Amaya; sweet, thoughtful and kind.

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