August 2, 2012

A very tired momma

      It's hard to explain how tired I am tonight. The past weeks of interrupted sleep are catching up with me. I don't usually do well on little or on interrupted sleep so I'm not surprised. But, I sure do hope I catch up soon. And more than that, I hope Amaya's knee pain subsides. It wears me down to see her in pain night after night. The only good thing is that she doesn't seem to have that pain during the day. I can't imagine how parents who work deal with all of this, I'm very fortunate to be able to stay home with Amaya during this journey.
     Today we had an early morning. We went to Amaya's school to do some stuff for PTA (I'm the treasurer this year). While we were there lots of the teachers came and said hello to Amaya and Lidie. Amaya got to talk to her teacher for this next year. Amaya says she's ready for the start of the next school year. She also got to see her kindergarten teacher, Mrs.Griessbach. Mrs.Griessbach was pleasantly surprised to see Amaya up and walking around. She said she was so proud of Amaya and all she's done. She said she gets tears of joy when she thinks about Amaya and all she's done and is doing. Amaya told her that she's been swimming, boogie boarding, walking, and will be starting swimming lessons soon. Mrs.Griessbach said that Amaya looked so grown up (especially since she lost her tooth) and how taller she was. Amaya has done a lot of growing these past six weeks.
       I'm always touched by the kindness, empathy, care and concern that the teachers at Amaya's school show for her. Even teachers who don't work with her make an effort to talk to her, and keep up with the blog. We're so fortunate to have her in such a loving school community. I wish that I could say all interactions were that way, but they're not. On our way in today Amaya was wheeling herself in her wheelchair while Lidie and I followed behind. As we entered the school the first kids we saw were two boys, about fourth or fifth grade. They both looked at Amaya, then one made a sound of disgust and a face. Then he turned and laughed and whispered something to his friend. Then they both laughed. It was mean and rude. I was instantly filled with many emotions; anger, sadness, frustration, and a deep desire to reprimand them. I choose to walk past them, and thankfully Amaya didn't notice them (she was concentrating on wheeling up a steep walkway).  
   Just as I was starting to get thoughts and feelings about Amaya having to go to school and deal with such rude kids I was reminded that not all, in fact most kids aren't like that. A second grade girl came over and introduced herself to me. She was so happy to see Amaya and asked how she was doing. This girl's kindness reminded me that for all the mean people in the world, there are plenty of kind accepting ones. I'm glad and thankful that Amaya doesn't have to navigate school all alone; her classmates, friends, teacher, other teachers, and staff, as well as her dad (who works there) all help her. And quite honestly she handles herself pretty well. Although I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wished I could spare her from all the ignorant, rude, mean people in the world. 

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