"If you only have one smile in you give it to the people you love." Maya Angelou
I found this quote after a day at the playground with Lidie. I had taken her to the park for some much needed one on one time. I was tired and worn out after a rough night with Amaya an a hectic week. While we were there a little girl came over and asked me to watch her run, then climb, jump, etc. I tried to be encouraging and friendly, but I was so tired and just wanted to spend time with Lidie. I noticed the girls was there with her mother and six other siblings, and she just seemed desperate for some one on one attention. So I felt bad for her, and even thought she deserved that one on one attention I wasn't bale to give it to her. Because if anyone was going to get my one on one attention it was going to be Lidie. After all she's my child and needed and deserved some extra TLC. I kept trying to be polite to the girls, but I started to get annoyed. As I tried to focus on Lidie she started competing wit her for my attention. After we left I felt terrible. I wished I had more energy and time for that girl. After all the poor kid just wanted some extra attention. But so did Lidie. And at that moment I only had enough in me for one child, so I chose Lidie. That day I realized my limitations, especially during such a tough couple of months. Then I found this quote. It was so liberating because even though that girl deserves love and attention at that point I was only able to give it to Lidie. And she's the one deserving of my love, time and attention. I though of this quote often. especially on days when I was stressed, tired and worn out. there were other things that asked for my attention; conversations to have, things to do, etc. But it just wasn't in me to do any extra things. We were in survival mode and I had to focus on my immediate family first.
"Be a rainbow in someone else's cloud." Maya Angelou
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back." Maya Angelou
These two are great reminders to always strive to make the lives of others better, even when yours is tough. As we receive help from others we still need to be willing to help others and make their journey a bit brighter and easier. That's one of the main reasons I write this blog, for other families whose journey is like ours, whose challenges, struggles, hopes, fears and worries are like our own.
"Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives." Maya AngelouI found this when we were almost done lengthening and preparing to start the consolidation phase (when the new bone hardens). Things in therapy were very tough at this point, overall most things were. Things were so hard for Amaya and yet she pressed on, enduring hardships and never giving up. I knew there was something amazing about how she handled everything. Maybe that's why young kids handle lengthenings so well, their ignorance of alternatives. But it made me a bit sad, was I not giving her another option? Was I the one giving her something difficult to endure? It was a it bittersweet reality. She had a lot to endure, but she was doing it so well.
"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved." Helen Keller
If you know me you know I'm a huge Helen Keller fan. I did a research paper and a speech about her in college and I was instantly hooked. She's amazing, but that's a conversation for another day. This quote gave me hope, comfort and encouragement. All that Amaya was going through was going to help develop her character. She would come out of all this a different person, a stronger, wiser, soul. I'm inspired by how Amaya handled what came her way. In fact the same goes for Lidie who had to endure a lot at a young age. I look forward to the future and who they will become and all they will do.
"While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done." Helen Keller
Throughout this entire journey we had several people worry about and for us and doubt us. They doubted how we would get through this, said it was too tough,etc. They would say things to us like "how are you going to get through this?," "we're so worried about your mental health." "This is going to be so hard." "We're not sure how you're doing it." And many similar things. They certainly weren't very encouraging or helpful. I'm not sure if people realized how unhelpful those comments were. I gave them the benefit of the doubt thinking that they were just surprised by how difficult things were and were expressing their shock, but nevertheless they weren't the encouraging words we wanted to hear. Yet somehow we managed, we survived and we did it. And to those of you who never doubted us, thank you.
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it." Helen Keller
I love this quote. Its realistic, yet hopeful and optimistic at the same time.
"The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful." E.E. Cummings
Something about this one stuck with me. The world is full of mud and puddles, but they're wonderful and fun! Not a mess to begrudge. Sometimes its a matter of perspective.