I'll stick to the highlights of the day. At physical therapy Amaya got to use the red scooter that she used last year. She sits on her bottom and uses her knees to push herself forward. This was a lot of hard work, but she pushed herself. She asked Melissa if she could go up the hill in the hall ( I love that she always challenges herself). And sure enough she did it! She did some bending of her knee on the table. Getting over 95 degrees was tough today. Melissa held Amaya's knee bent to help stretch the knee a bit more. Amaya was in pain and cried thru it. I love seeing her push thru the pain, enduring it and then as soon as its done smiling a big smile. I wish you could all be there to see her push herself and then smile and be her sweet self. I was so proud of her as I watched her. The way she handles the challenges that she deals with day in and day out, it's pretty amazing.
After physical therapy we had a play date with some close family friends. It was so nice to let the girls "just be kids." The other kids were two and four years old and were so sweet, gentle and kind with Amaya. It's neat to see how sweet and accepting kids can be. They touched her fixator, asked what it was called, and then a minute later moved on the business of being kids; playing. The girls got to play, laugh, share snacks and make snow ice cream with Abby, Alex, Seraphine, Grandpa Dave and Grammy Diane. I'm so thankful for good friends and family that distract us from the craziness that comes with life with a fixator. The kids made plans to meet up again for some "fort building."
After we got home we had to start preparing for bed. Lidie got her bath first while Amaya ate dinner then Josh took Lidie down to read, get Jammie's on and wrestle while I gave Amaya her shower. There were more tears with tonight's shower, but not as many as yesterday. I only allowed Amaya ten minutes to whine, stall, and transition into the shower. I've been counting to ten (telling her that at the count of ten its time to take medicine, or go potty, or get in the tub,etc.) and that seems to help keep her focused and cut our time down. She kept telling me that I didn't understand how much she didn't like seeing her pins or showering. I told her that I believed her. But just like she has a job to do (physical therapy) , so do I (to take care of her). The shower went quick but taking the gauze gave her some panic and pain. The gauze tugs at her scabs a bit and that seems to send her into a panic. Also her bandage over her incision on her hip was almost off and she could feel it pulling at her skin (and that freaked her out a bit too). Most of the bandage came off in the shower (she didn't even notice) and the rest I took off while I put the new gauze on. There was some definite screaming, but once it was done she calmed down rather quickly. It's so hard to stay focused on my job while she's screaming in my face. Even though I know she's okay, I know that there is some level of pain, discomfort and fear. I have to separate my emotions from that moment so that I can finish what I'm doing. Later I'll vent or release the stress. Tonight we tried applying new gauze while she layed on her side and that worked great! It was so much easier to weave the gauze between her leg and the fixator. Once the bandage was off from her hip's incision she asked me to apply a new bandage because seeing it bothered her. Once again "out of sight our of mind" really works with Amaya. I knew she didn't need it on there, but figured it wouldn't hurt to have a new one on. I've learned to pick my battles. The incision looked bigger that it had before, it's about four to five inches long. Seeing it hurt me, it's hard to explain. But, I think at that moment seeing how big it was and knowing just how much work was done to her hip saddened me. I hate that my sweet little Amaya has had to endure so much physical pain. One of the things she's said over the last few days is "I didn't ask for this. I didn't want a short leg. I didn't want this surgery." At that moment I felt all that pain too. I love her just the way she is, short leg and all. And I wouldn't want to change her one bit, but seeing her have to put up with so much grief is hard. I took a deep breath and kept on going. I sang (in the "just keep swimming" way that Dory from Nemo did) "I'm almost done." It seemed to help her calm down a bit. As soon as I was done she said, "thank you mom, I'm so sorry I freaked out on you." What a sweet kid. Josh and I switched again. He finished getting her ready for bed while I put Lidie down. After Lidie was asleep I shed some tears; it feels so good to let them out and release all that stress.
Josh said he talked with her about staying calm and not screaming. He couldn't believe how she acted. He reminded her that it's okay to be nervous or scared, but that screaming like that was not okay. It was a bit better than yesterday, so we'll see what tomorrow brings.
This was Amaya's bed sore on her heel last week.
This is it today. It's getting better, but still bothering her a bit.
Amaya using the scooter down the hall. You can see her knee "working" hard to pull herself forward.
Amaya working her way up the "hill."
What comes up, must come down. I love seeing the joy that makes up our therapy sessions.
Laying on the table getting her knee measured. Is that a smile on her face?
Melissa's trying to get the knee bent as much as possible and get a good measurement. You can tell by Amaya's face that its hurting her.
It's great to see her knee bend so much, but sad to see her in pain.
At the home Amaya asked if she could practice walking in her walker while Lidie took a bath. I love her motivation and drive; she is resilient!
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